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Do you really believe?

Dear ma,
When you say that I’ll one day be the greatest there is, do you really believe it? Does it come from your heart when you say that you have faith enough in my ability? Ma, when I kicked in your stomach, was it the kick of a hero or one weak and feeble? Did I have the instincts and urge to live or was I sickly and wishing for death? Ma, when I spell my crazy dreams and ambitions unto you, and you smile in all your transcendence, do you really believe or you are just trying not to bruise my heart? When I look up at you and you turn your eyes into the horizon, when you call me out to see the stars, when you tell me that I can reach out for the moon, do you really believe it or you just say it to get my hopes up?

Dear Ma, I am trying, God knows I am. Even though I am so far away from you, I can still feel you nudging me and telling me to go for it. I can see your cheap, bleached dress flapping in the wind as you go about your chores. I can still hear you whispering in my ear every time I want to give up. Dear ma, I am working overtime to make sure I live to become the man you always wanted. I am learning to grow into that boy you have always seen in your dreams. I know you have always wanted the best for me but Ma, I wanna ask, do you really believe? Do you really believe in all you say about me? Do you really believe that I can concur my fears and walk past the boundaries ‘they’ have set for me? Do you really believe that your son would be the salvation that many so direly seek? Ma, I don’t doubt what you say about me. I just want you to convince me again and again that I can climb the mountain and walk the seas.

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