-


Break-up note

You pretty much know I gave everything. Now, I’ll take it from here. Walk and don’t you dare look back. I am tired of yesterdays and groping in the dark for memories overshadowed by pain and emotional anguish, heartbreaks and bad dreams. I don’t have anything more to give so it is time I start taking back.
The bumblebee, it doesn’t bring honey when you expect a heartbreak, it stings. It no longer is that beautiful insect that hums, it is that beast that bites. The past becomes your worst enemy and you try to embrace the future only to find it is not there. That is a pain I would never wish even my worst enemies. But what happens to apples when they go stale? What happens to roses when they wither? They find their way to the trash can. Nobody remembers their sweet smell or kingly taste. They all block their noses and without any regret throw away the yellowing leaves.
I am tired of you holding my hand when darkness rolls in and letting go when the sun is up. I am tired of being in love alone, healing your heart while mine is decayed and falling apart. I am tired of crying every night when thinking of you and you embarrassing me when with friends only to apologize later when we are alone. What is love if it hurts? What is love if I can’t even for a day bask in its glory? What is love if I give all to get nothing?
What is love if the world is never allowed to know it exists? Love is supposed to heal, your breaks apart, love is supposed to build confidence, yours dumps worry and fear at my doorstep. This is burial without a eulogy, for deep down my heart refuses to cry. It is a goodbye without the fair because my soul refuses to remember you. Walk out and go, forget me. Do not call or text. Do not ask us to start over again because you have taken away every ounce of strength I had and exhausted every hope I ever had in us.
What is love if you can’t see what I have given up for you?
I just want you to know that the sun will not fail to rise because you have walked out, and when it comes I will not shy away from it. I shall face it with new eyes and new convictions, and again I will learn to believe.
So go and don’t look back, run so you can catch up with the train of the future, because it has just left the station. In the meantime I will collect the pieces and piece them together to make a whole new me. Maybe time will be the best healer. Maybe I will just hang around and wait, maybe I will go the other way and dig into the dusts of the past for the life and time I threw away.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

-
If we must die If we must die, let it not be like cows in the slaughter, walking willingly into the bloodbaths, too meek to resist and too trusting to argue. Let us die like buffaloes in a lion chase or ants in a midday march. Let us die like termites in search of freedom in a hostile world. If we must die, let it not be like birds caught in storm or a deer by a hunter’s spear. Let it not be like foxes caught in traps or flies landing on fire. If we must die, let our death not be told to those with faint hearts and loud wails. Let it not be known by those women who know not to keep their mouth shut. Let it not be told to those frail and on the brink lest they tilt over. If we must die, let the news be hushed and kept silent. Let everyone be told that we refused to be vanquished, that the flame refused to be extinguished. Let them be told that it is not graves but a mound full of seeds and flowers. Lord, if we must die, let us waft out into your presence like sacred incense. Send a ch...
Read more
-
Where did you go? I am a walking carcass hoping for a wind strong enough to carry me away, a rain harsh enough to dissolve me into a lump of soil. If I could erase all these memories and go back to the days before I met you, I would. But how sad that I roll in torture during the night and burn during the day. Tell me, old friend, you who made me feel special and important, where did the wind take you? Should I cry for time that conspired against us or should I let you shoulder the burden? I have been reduced into a mess of tears and regret. I have lost my trust and my confidence, come to me, you who gave me strength and take me with you. Tell me I was dreaming and tuck me back to sleep. Smother me with the pillow so I will not wake from this, for what is life, when she that I adored and loved in equal measure walked out on me? Look at me now as I wade knee deep in mud and slime, look at me as I stretch my hands to take you back but oh how far away you are. Come messiah, before...
Read more
-
I see in the news everyday children in tattered clothes walking the streets of Somalia, Burundi and even South Sudan. They look at cameras with their yellow jaundiced eyes, all a picture of pain, hunger and sorrow. And yet we choose either not to care or ignore their plea. Fat men and fat women sit on their tables heaped with food they don’t even eat with the television to keep them company yet, back in those countries, men lay dead in the fields, women walk around forlorn and forsaken. We see a child running up and down screaming and crying looking for their parents among a pile of bodies. We just sigh and change the station, and that is just about it. I see men with mucus in their noses and shuffling with sticks due to their amputated legs, their eyes etched into the distance, hope a very foreign word for them. We claim that Africa is held together by bonds of brotherhood. Which brotherhood or Africa for that matter are we talking about? I see a continent operating on whims of...
Read more