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When will you tire?
Loans, jobs, children, fees, clothes. Every day you run around, your back hunched, not from the long days in the uncomfortable office, rather the heavy bags on your back, the bags of worry and those of fear. She swore she’d leave that day, the children don’t talk to you anymore, you are dying inside yet you cannot feel it. Life is decaying all around you yet you can’t even see. You say you are looking for life for your family, trying to give them something, to earn your right to be called a father, a husband. What else would they want, nay, need, from you apart from your time and presence? You want to pull them close to you, but don’t you see you are pushing them further away? Your wife, she kneels by the bed alone every night to pray, where are you to hold her hand? Where are you to just hug her and tell her everything will be alright? When will you get tired of being a ghost to your own people? When will you get tired of searching for life among the rubbles of death? When will you tire?
You say everyday you have to fight for them, but don’t you see even though you win you’ll be the loser in the end? The bags on you, why are you letting them run your life? Why do you have to carry on you the weight that only drags you down? Now look at you, what happened to that mouth that whispered a prayer every day? All it knows nowadays are ledgers and performance contracts. That finger that ran over bible verses every night, it is nowadays scanning over newspaper adverts to discover new opportunities if not toying with a midnight cigarette.
When will you tire? When will you stop chasing after this freedom that will only bring you ruin? Your son, how long will he wait in the field for you to attend the end year soccer match you promised to? Did you even know your daughter has had her first periods? How long will your wife be crying unto God to bring back the man she married? How long will she be waiting up just so she can welcome you home and warm your food at midnight?
When, just when will your search come to an end? When will you get tired of selling your people a freedom bound in chains? When will you tire?

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