journey through

       I BELIEVE IN YESTERDAY I dreamt yesterday that i would be a great man today. I dreamt that i could shout and the whole world would listen to me, i dreamt that i could climb the tallest of mountains and swim in the deepest of rivers. I dreamt yesterday that my fantasies had become a reality, and that’s why i believe in yesterday. Yesterday came with its promises and doubts in equal measure, but it was better a day than today and tomorrow. I had love yesterday and she left today. There was someone in my heart yesterday but it today it’s awfully empty. I had someone to cuddle yesterday but today i only the pillow. Yesterday, someone whispered in my ear of how she loved me but today... I lived without a care in the world yesterday. I didn’t have to worry about what i had to eat nor what to drink. I would walk with my head held high, knowing that someone would do all the caring and worrying for me but today, the sun is brighter and hotter, th...

lady so lady, i talk to you today, what happened to the shy smile when i used to ask you out, what happened to the makeup that you spread about, what happened to the red lips that you used to pout, when you smile today, all i see is doubt, the woman i married, has flown back to her cocoon, the woman that once was a cartoon, is now a mourner in all her gloom, so lady, what happened to the jokes that made you laugh, what happened to the talk that made you tough, what happened to the love you never had enough, for lady, i see a shadow so forlon and in the distance, i see a woman so lost in the darkness, i see a woman who so abhors the light, i see a woman who is just about to lose a fight, when i look at you lady, i see a hand that waves in farewell, i see a wall that mocks and jeers help away, i see a woman who cries for help but turns away when it breaches her wall, i see a woman who has slid far beyond the reach of my frail fingertips, so lady, i don't in...

Chapter nine Let me tell you about something that happened to me during the past rainy season that still sends shivers down my spine up till today. It was during the short rain seasons where the water would form rivulets and roll down the lonely path to the shopping centre. It wasn’t really a big place, just a boring place with a shop they called ‘chamchi-tugul’ meaning love y’all in Kalenjin, a poshomill, a small barber shop where we always cried when our parents sent us to pay him a visit and a small house always under lock and key where we always peeped with a hope of discovering loads of money locked in, little did we know that it was the barber’s store room. The rainy season though never stopped us from playing our football games, shirtless of course. We played without our shirts, not because it was fun that way but just because some of us had only the one. We were two goals ahead, all credit to me for stopping the ball with my face twice though I almost went blind in one a...

We, I, killed Andy ( an open letter to a friend I ‘killed’)     He was, is the best pal I’ve ever had. The young man with whom I shared dreams and nightmares, told of my silent ambitions and shared all the naughty secrets close dawgs do, is no more. The young man with whom we walked side to side, where seeing one meant seeing another suddenly went silent. Well, the first thought were of grim betrayal and hatred but then, things changed and the stubborn self I had came into being. Well, truth be told. I had constructed for myself an ivory tower from whence I stood to judge, never allowing myself to be judged. I made decisions for us, yours I dismissed as dumb and insignificant. The world was to be viewed from my trajectory, yours non-existent. I walked my path, forcing you to follow me despite the fact that you had another path to take. I took my dreams and imposed them on you, my thoughts you had to shoulder so as not to disappoint. It was a disaster waiting to hap...

Chapter eight It was a good day then, Christmas was just around the corner. Life was pretty smooth for almost everybody, including the laziest man in the village whom they called Moto because of his immense love for the song; moto, umewaka leo, moto wa kazi ya mungu... . had harvested. The cows liked these times because they was free to gossip with each other and share a disease or two. We of course were happier than the cows. We on that day like any other December day settled for a game of ‘BANO’ I was the master and after the ‘kitch no payee” warning, I got into action. Mine was a new edition marble, sea blue in colour while they had some battered things that didn’t even have the necessary round shape and guess who was the sole cause of these? Guilty as charged. I was ten points ahead of them after ten minutes and we were all bored. Kiprotich roused the topic everyone loved, nguo za Christmas. We was the richest folks if you compared our level of poverty to the two other bo...

Chapter seven Yeah, my grandma’s funeral was one of my best days, of course due to the fact that I couldn’t really tell what was going on. I remember my mama calling me out from the field and wondering whether to soak me first. The scrubbing was rather harsh that day with the ‘mawe ya mguu’ forgetting its boundaries and roaming up to my knees. I remember raising my leg up in the air as she had requested before some village women passed by. She of course conducted them into the house with strict instructions that i wasn’t to dare put my leg back in the basin. She had then resurfaced after three minutes and the torturous process continued. Some ‘arimis’ multi-purpose petroleum jelly(though I wondered why it wasn’t used in cooking)   to glitter point and then shoved into some oversize polo shirt and short, prized possessions from the last christmas that were stored away for travel use only. I didn’t have a boxer then but had a green ‘capetown’ cap. I remember trying to take the...